Do you find yourself not being able to enjoy being a stay at home mom the way you use to? My guess is you’re tired, irritated, impatient and have lost all the joy and laughter you once had. If so, you have something called mom burnout, and I’m here to help!
Not long ago I felt just like you. I was drowning in overwhelm with this hole stay at home mom thing. My house was a complete disaster from top to bottom, my meals were always prepared late and laundry was always piled up, And aside from all of this, I never had time for me!
Something had to change with this hole mom burnout thing, I had to change my processes and get my family on board. So, I created simple home systems to help me manage being a happy sane stay at home mom. And now I LOVE it!
I know in the beginning you to loved the idea of being a stay at home mom just like I did, it was your perfect fit that took the worry away from
- Daycare costs and leaving your child with total strangers
- The daily commute
- Being your child’s 1st influence
- Being there for all the ages and stages
- Teaching them
- Patching every wound
- And eventually sending them off to school
And the list could go on and on.
Being there for the first steps, the first tooth, there first day of school meant the world to you. But as time went on being a stay at home mom began to shift into a complete nightmare, and fast.
The house became a complete disaster, you couldn’t give your kids the attention they needed, (and oh are they needy)your hair is always a mess, dinner is always late and you’re sick and tired with overwhelm and can’t figure how to cope with this stay at home mom thing. If this is you listen up!
Take Time For Yourself
All too often I hear mom’s say they never have time for themselves. You have to demand it, steal it or you might not get it!
If your kids depend on you day in and day out to be there primary caregiver because your spouse works outside of the home then you have to make the changes.
Awake 30 minutes earlier than the kids to get in some mom time. Stop lounging around in your pjs all day. Put on your favorite jam,do your hair and makeup and get dressed like you have somewhere to go. This will help you feel a hole hell of alot better about the day ahead.
Your entire day should always be planned out. From the time you awake first thing in the morning to laying your head down at night, always know what’s ahead.
Plan your mom time, meals, house chores, naps and anything else that comes to mind that your everyday involves. Always be on the wait list for something to be thrown in the day that’s not on your schedule because let’s face it, life happens.
You and I both know that spending time with your kids is an absolute must, but at times you drown yourself focusing all of your attention on them.
Encouraging independent play and learning is healthy for the both of you. I’m not telling you to dig out all their favorite toys and say go for it leaving them playing for hours.
I’m saying give them space to play, learn and grow while you take time for other things. There are many independent learning activities that will feel like play to your child they will absolutely love. They can have fun learning and playing while you free your mind. And this will also free your time and help kick mom burnout.
Ask For Help
Mom Burnout can happen quickly when you wear many hats.Outsourcing a daily duty or 2 can help to give you a break.
If your home with the kids all day I’d assume your spouse is bringing in the bread. Yep he’s tired from the 9 to 5 grind but I’ll tell you what, he too can pitch in and help!
Don’t start the help process by ranting and raving about the horrible day you had trying to catch up on funky laundry and debating with your 3 year old about why fingerpainting on the walls is a big no no. Just. Simply. Ask. (remember timing is everything when talking to men)
Play Date Exchange
Having close friends or neighbors that have kids is always convenient as you can be a lifesaver for each other.
Schedule a day during the week when you can have your kid(s) have a playdate at the park or at there house and you exchange the favor in return. You never know if the next mom may be in need of some off time needing a break just like you! Be sure to set clear boundaries and discuss expectations before the big date. Your kids will love you for it to!
Learn To Say No To Needy People
Listen, saying no doesn’t mean your being a complete ass. Saying no means that your time is precious and just maybe there are other important things you must attend to or maybe you simply don’t feel like being attentive to someone else’s wants and needs.
You don’t have to come off like a snob but be clear about your needs and assure that person that you’d love to help out with whatever there need is when you have some the time. They will then respect your no, understand why not and look forward to when you can be there to help them. If they can’t understand then maybe you need to reevaluate the relationship!
Sometimes it’s better to just let go when you feel you have done all you can do. Being a stay at home mom running a household and being attentive to everyone’s needs can burn your ass out!
Just stop. Trying to do it all is burning you completely out! Only and I mean only do what is necessary. Take care of the basic needs of your kids, make sure nobody is hungary and that’s it. No laundry, no tidying up, no errands. Just let go! Once you regroup, pick yourself back up and continue on.
Get Out Of The House
Thinking that everything at home has to be perfect before getting of the house is a lie! Things aren’t always going to be perfect and you can’t stay cooped up in the house day in and day out thinking that’s the only thing you have to do.
Take the kids to the park for a picnic, strap the kiddos in the stroller and go out for a run, take them to visit there grandparents, do something that doesn’t involve mom work. When you get out you feel better.
Now you have the know-how to ditch the mom burnout that’s been ruling the joy from stay at home mom life. Take the time to go over the steps i’ve outlined here and practice each one. I promise it will make a hell of a difference. I can’t wait to hear about how the strategies worked. Now, what’s next on your list to combat?